Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, I but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
A man receives a phone call from his doctor. The doctor says: "I have some good news and some bad news." The man says: "OK, give me the good news first." The doctor says: "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live." The man replies: "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?" The doctor says: "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
Man - Is there any way for long life? Doctor - Get married. Man - Will it help. Doctor - No, but the thought of long life will never come...
A man wakes up in a hospital bed after a terrible accident and cries – "DOC, DOC... I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs...!!! Doctor replies : Well of course you can't silly...! "I've cut off both of your arms."
Doctor to Patient: You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die? Patient: Yes. A Good Doctor.
Man : Doctor, whenever I drink my coffee,I get a sharp pain in my eye.What should I do? . . Doctor : Just remove the spoon from your cup.
Patient: What is the cost of plastic surgery? Doctor: It is near about 10,000$. Patient: Well, what if.. we arrange the plastic?
A person goes to the doctor with his 3 year son. Person: - Doctor, my son has swallowed a key, so we came to you. Doctor:- When did he swallowed a key. Person:- 10 days back. Doctor:- And you are coming to me now, after 10 days. Person:- We had a duplicate key, but today it is lost.
Doctor to Patient : The cheque which you gave me has returned back.... Patient to Doctor: The head-ache for which you gave me medicine has also returned back....
Doctor: You should take at least 10 glasses of water everyday. Patient: It is impossible. Doctor: Why? Patient: I have only 4 glasses at home.....