Doctor Patient Jokes

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. 
Doctor: Drink this glass of water. 
Patient: Will it make me better? 
Doctor: No, I but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.  gringringrin
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says:  "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says:  "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says: "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies:  "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says: "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday." gringringrin
Man - Is there any way for long life?
Doctor - Get married.
Man - Will it help.
Doctor - No, but the thought of long life will never come... gringringrin
A man wakes up in a hospital bed after a terrible accident and cries – 
"DOC, DOC... I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs...!!!
Doctor replies : Well of course you can't silly...! "I've cut off both of your arms." gringringrin
Doctor to Patient: You will die within 2 hours.
Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient: Yes. A Good Doctor. gringringrin
Man : Doctor, whenever I drink my coffee,I get a sharp pain in my eye.What should I do?
Doctor : Just remove the spoon from your cup. gringringrin
Patient: What is the cost of plastic surgery?
Doctor: It is near about 10,000$.
Patient: Well, what if.. we arrange the plastic? gringringrin
A person goes to the doctor with his 
3 year son.
Person: - Doctor, my son has swallowed 
a key, so we came to you.
Doctor:- When did he swallowed a key.
Person:- 10 days back.
Doctor:- And you are coming to me now,
after 10 days.
Person:- We had a duplicate key, but
today it is lost. gringringrin
Doctor to Patient : The cheque which you gave me has returned back....
Patient to Doctor: The head-ache for which you gave me medicine has also returned back.... gringringrin
Doctor: You should take at least 10 glasses of water everyday.
Patient: It is impossible.
Doctor: Why?
Patient: I have only 4 glasses at home..... gringringrin