Husband Jokes

A man calls into the police station and says, My wife is missing..

The officer asks, How long she has been gone..?

A month..

Why did you wait so long to report it..?

Well, until yesterday I thought it was just a dream,
then I realized I didn't have any clean clothes to wear. gringringrin
Chess says everything about husband and wife.
The King has to take things one step at a time,
while the Queen can do whatever she wants. gringringrin
Have you heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles..?
He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.. gringringrin
Jennifer talking to julie...

Jennifer: "my husband is very innocent, he does not pay attention to any woman, except me".
Julie: "my husband  is four times than yours, it is not only the other women! he even does not look at me!!" 
 gringringrin
A Man who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest.
A Man who surrenders when he is not Sure, is Wise.
A Man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband. gringringrin
A newly married husband saved his Wife's number on his mobile as...
"My life"..
After one year of marriage he changed the number to..
"My Wife"..
After two year of marriage he changed the number to..
"Home"...
After 5 years of marriage he changed the number to..
"Hitler"..!!
After 10 years of marriage he changed the number to..
"Wrong number"...!!!! gringringrin
Position of husband is like a split A.C.
No matter how loud he is outside,
but inside the house,
he is designed to remain
silent, cool & controlled by remote. gringringrin
When a husband says : I'll think about it,

What he really means that,
He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet. gringringrin