Husband Wife Jokes

Husband and wife were going somewhere....

A beggar appeared in front of them and said: "Oh! beautiful lady, please give this blind beggar some money!"

Husband looked at his wife and said: "he is really blind, give him a dollar!!"
 gringringrin
A person went to his neighbour, Where an old couple lived...
He went inside where he found that the old man still called her wife with cute names like,

Sweetie, Honey, Jasmine etc.
Man to the old man: It's Sweet... After 70 years you still call your wife with such cute names....??

The Old man replied (whispering) : Her name had slipped off my mind 10 years ago and
I am very scared to ask what it is...!!  gringringrin
Wife: "I will die!"

Husband: "I will also die!"

Wife: "why, you will die?"

Husband: "because, I can't bear so much happiness!!" gringringrin
Peter: it seems my wife is not faithful to me, she is cheating on me..!

Simon : Why you feel so?

Peter : Yesterday, she arrived home late, I asked, where were you..? and she said, I was at Julie's home..!

Whereas, its me who was at Julie's home yesterday..!
 

 gringringrin
An angry wife to her husband on phone:
"Where the hell are you..?"
Husband : Darling You Remember That Jewelry Shop Where you saw,
the diamond Necklace and totally fell in Love with it and i didn't
have Money that time and I said "baby it'll be yours 1 day..."
Wife with a smile & blushing:
Yeah I remember that my Love..!
Husband : I'm in the Pub Just Next to that shop
 gringringrin
Husband : Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18 years and marriage age 21 years..?
Wife : Because Govt. know that to handle the country is easy then to handle a wife... gringringrin
Wife : I found Aladin's lamp today.
Husband : Wow, what did you ask for darling?
Wife : I asked him to increase your brain power by ten times.
Husband : Oh.... love you so much.. Did he do that..?
Wife : He laughed and said multiplication doesn't work with zero. gringringrin
Husband: "yesterday, a girl came to me in my dream,wow!what a beautiful girl she was!" 

Wife: "she must have come alone!"

Husband: yes, she was alone,"how do you know?"

Wife: "because, his husband was in my dream!!"

 gringringrin
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. 

Wife: Why three..? 

Husband: For you and your parents.... gringringrin
Husband and wife are fighting with each other...

Husband: "what, do you mean,your mother suggested you not to marry me?"

Wife: "Yes, it was like that!"

Husband: "Oh, God! I was so wrong about that innocent lady!!"
 gringringrin