Husband Wife Jokes

A person went to his neighbour, Where an old couple lived...
He went inside where he found that the old man still called her wife with cute names like,

Sweetie, Honey, Jasmine etc.
Man to the old man: It's Sweet... After 70 years you still call your wife with such cute names....??

The Old man replied (whispering) : Her name had slipped off my mind 10 years ago and
I am very scared to ask what it is...!!  gringringrin
Wife: "I will die!"

Husband: "I will also die!"

Wife: "why, you will die?"

Husband: "because, I can't bear so much happiness!!" gringringrin
An angry wife to her husband on phone:
"Where the hell are you..?"
Husband : Darling You Remember That Jewelry Shop Where you saw,
the diamond Necklace and totally fell in Love with it and i didn't
have Money that time and I said "baby it'll be yours 1 day..."
Wife with a smile & blushing:
Yeah I remember that my Love..!
Husband : I'm in the Pub Just Next to that shop
Peter: it seems my wife is not faithful to me, she is cheating on me..!

Simon : Why you feel so?

Peter : Yesterday, she arrived home late, I asked, where were you..? and she said, I was at Julie's home..!

Whereas, its me who was at Julie's home yesterday..!

Husband : Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18 years and marriage age 21 years..?
Wife : Because Govt. know that to handle the country is easy then to handle a wife... gringringrin
Wife : I found Aladin's lamp today.
Husband : Wow, what did you ask for darling?
Wife : I asked him to increase your brain power by ten times.
Husband : Oh.... love you so much.. Did he do that..?
Wife : He laughed and said multiplication doesn't work with zero. gringringrin
Wife : I am not talking to you.
Husband : Okay.
Wife : Don't you want to know the reason.
Husband : No, I respect & trust your decision..! gringringrin
Husband & wife are liver and kidney..
Husband is liver & wife is kidney..
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.. gringringrin
Husband and wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant..
As the food was served,
Husband said : "The food looks delicious, let's eat."
Wife : Honey..... You say prayer before eating at home.
Husband : That's at home sweetheart... Here the chef, knows how to cook gringringrin
 Wife is busy packing her clothes...
Man: Where are u going?

Wife: I'm moving to my mother's home..

Husband also starts packing...
Wife: And where are you going..?

Husband: I'm also moving to my mother's home.. 
Wife: And what about the kids..?

Husband : Well if you moving to your mother's home
and I'm moving to my mother's home then I guess they must also move with their mother.. gringringrin