Husband Wife Jokes

Husband and wife were silent for a half-day after an intense argument...

Wife came to husband and said: "we don't look good fighting each other,we should compromise!"

Husband: "ok,lets compromise!tell me what to do!"

Wife: "you say "sorry" and I will forgive you!!"

 gringringrin
Husband came down from his third-floor flat and rushing towards office...
Suddenly,he noticed that he forgot to carry his phone and handkerchief...

He called his wife from the road...

Husband: "Dear,I forgot my phone and handkerchief on the table,throw them down!"
Wife: "which one to throw first?"

Husband: "let the phone come first."
Wife threw the mobile out of the window but the husband couldn't catch it and 
the phone broke down into pieces...

Husband shouted: "wait, now,don't throw the handkerchief,I am coming up!!"

 
 gringringrin
Husband offers a glass of whiskey to his wife...

Husband: "drink it!"
Wife takes a sip and says,"its too much bitter!"

Husband: "I drink this bitter poison every night 
and you think my every night is full of pleasure!!" gringringrin
Wife (to her husband): Yesterday, you was abusing me in your sleep..!

Husband (to his wife): its just your misunderstanding...!

Wife: what..? misunderstanding..!

Husband: that, you thought I was sleeping..!! gringringrin
Husband: "look,I bought a life insurance policy of 20 lakh rupees!"
Wife: "then what! It has no value until we get the money!!" gringringrin
Wife: "whatever task I undertake I completely immerse myself into that!"

Husband: "then,why don't you start digging a well!!"

 gringringrin
Husband : If i dead. Can you marry again.??

Wife : No. I live with my Sister.
Wife : If i dead..?

Husband : I can also live with your sister. gringringrin
Man to a Lady in a Crowded Mall :
I have lost my wife, Will you Please talk to Me for a second
Lady : why..?
Man : because whenever I talk to ladies She appears from now here like a ghost gringringrin
Consequences of American life style :
The wife rushed into house screaming to her
husband: Darling, Come quick..!
Your kids and my kids are beating our kids. gringringrin
Man to Her Fat Wife : Do you Wanna Lose 10 Pounds Of Ugly Fat In Just 2 Mins...?
Wife : Yes, Why Not... Tell Me What's d Procedure..?
Husband : Cut Off Ur Head... gringringrin