Husband Wife Jokes

A husband & Wife were arguing over some issue.
After much of discussion,
Wife finally said : 
"Tell me Dear,
Do you want to win
OR
Do you want to be Happy..?
Argument Ended gringringrin
Wife : "Why do we all Marry..?"
Husband : "Because, Love & Romance are not the only Element of life,
we should also know Horror, Terror, Suspense, Stupidity &
Tragedy of life" gringringrin
Husband : Wow...
Your sister looks so perfect with incredible body and flower like skin. What does she use..?
Wife : Adobe Photoshop..! gringringrin
A wife after waking up from her sleep on Valentine's day,
"I just had a dream that you bought me a diamond necklace"..
Husband: Go back to sleep and wear it. gringringrin
One day Joe's mother turned to Joe's father and said, It's such a nice day, I think I'll take Joe to the zoo.

I wouldn't bother, said father, If they want him, let them come and get him..! gringringrin
Husband : Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife : Why three..?
Husband : 1 for you and 2 for your parents. gringringrin
 When Husband breaks a glass.
Wife : "Break everything. Break all these bottles...
break the kitchen... break the house...
just break everything..!"
And when wife breaks a glass.
Wife : "Who kept this glass here..?"... gringringrin
Husband asks : Do you know the meaning of wife..? It means
"Without Information, Fighting Everytime.!"
Wife replied : No darling, it means "With Idiot For Ever". gringringrin
If Wife wants to get husband's attention just look sad & uncomfortable...
If Husband wants to get wife's attention just look comfortable & happy... gringringrin
A newly married man asked his wife,
Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune..?
Honey..!! the woman replied sweetly, I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE gringringrin