Wife : Yesterday I saw a very beautiful girl.. Husband : Then what happened..? Wife : I just kept on admiring her, on and on.. Husband (gets irritated) : What happened then? Wife smiled and said : I moved away from the mirror..!
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, Julie, pack up your things..! I just won the state lottery..! Julie replies, Should I pack for warm weather or cold..? The man says, I don't care.. Just as long as you're out of the house by noon..
A couple comes upon a wishing well. The wife leans over, makes a wish and throws in a penny.. The husband decides to make a wish too.. But he leans over too much, falls into the well and drown.. Stunned, the wife smiles broadly and exclaims, "It really works..!"
Darling, Whispered a frail little husband from his chair. I'm very sick, Would you please call me a vet..? A vet....!! "Why do you want a vet and not a medical doctor..?" asked his wife... The husband replied, "Because I work like a horse, live like a dog, and have to sleep with a cow..!"
A man makes a suggestion to his wife, "Honey, what do you say that tonight we change positions..?" His wife responds with, "Yes, I would really like that.." Tonight, you stand by the ironing board and I'll lay on the couch and watch TV."
Wife : Why did you break the glass..? Husband : I did not break the glass.. Wife : When I threw the glass why did you move your head..!!
Husband to wife :- Today is a fine day.. Next day he says :- Today is a fine day.. Again next day, he says same thing - Today is a fine day.. Finally after a week, the wife can't take it and asks her husband :- Since last one week, you are saying this 'Today is a fine day'. I am fed up. What's the matter..? Husband :- Last week when we had an argument, you said, I will leave you one fine day. I was just trying to remind you...
In a Bar,a man attended a phone-call : Hello..! Yes Honey.. Wife : Darling, I'm in a shopping mall. Shall I buy Jewelry worth Rs. 1 LAKH? Man : Sure Honey.. Wife : 1 Silk-Saree worth Rs. 20000 dear, shall I? Man : One saree not enough honey, take 1 more. Wife : Ok dear, I have your credit-card. Shall I use now? Man : Sure, with pleasure. All friends asked him after he put down his mobile : You love your wife this much? Man : EXCUSE ME, WHOSE MOBILE IS THIS..?
Husband : Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner tonight. Wife : What..? Are you crazy..? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I can't cook a meal for sure Husband : I know all that darling.. Wife : Then why did you invite the friend..? Husband : Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married..
Husband texts to wife on cell... Hi, what are you doing Darling..?" Wife : I'm dying..! Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without you..?" Wife : "You idiot..! I'm dying my hair..." Husband : "Bloody English Language..!"