Kids Jokes

A butcher was carrying his goat to slaughter it, goat was crying "mai-mai"...

A passing kid asked:"why your goat is crying?"

Butcher: "I am going to slaughter it!"

Kid: "I thought you are taking it to school!!" 

A lady at bus stop telling his son...

when the conductor asks your age,tell him "I am 5-years-old." then I don't have to take your ticket...

They get into the bus...

Conductor (to kid): "how old are you?"

Kid: "5-years-old!"

Conductor asked innocently: "so, when you will be 6-years-old?"

Kid: "after getting out of the bus!!" 

Father said to son: "at your age I was not used to lie!"

Son: "Ok, at what age you started lying!!"  

A gentleman asked a 7-year-old girl: "you really have beautiful hair! from whom you got the hair, 
from mom or papa?"

The girl replied: "I guess, I got from my papa as he is bald!!" 

Father (to son): "look my child, gambling is not a good thing! if you win today,you will lose tomorrow and if you win day after tomorrow, you will lose the next day!"

Son (to father): "yes, I got your point I should play it on alternate days!!" 

Kid: "mother, magic happened last night!I opened the washroom's door and light turned on by itself!"

Mother: "idiot,it seems,you again peed in the fridge!!" 

Peter: "papa, do you fear the dark?"

Father: "no son!"

Peter: "thunder, lightning and blast?"

Father: "of course not!"

Peter: "It means you don't fear anything except mom!!" 

Son: "dad' I don't want pencil, give me a pen!"

Father: "but, your teacher always asks to write with a pencil!"

Son: "you are right! but, whenever she beats me with pencil its tip breaks off!!  

A small kid returns from school with his report card and says to his father...

Kid: "you are so lucky!"

Father: "how?"

Kid: "as I got failed so you don't have to buy new books for me!!" 

A kid asked another kid: "can you read Chinese?"

The other kid replied: "yes, if it is written in English!"