A butcher was carrying his goat to slaughter it, goat was crying "mai-mai"... A passing kid asked:"why your goat is crying?" Butcher: "I am going to slaughter it!" Kid: "I thought you are taking it to school!!"
A lady at bus stop telling his son... when the conductor asks your age,tell him "I am 5-years-old." then I don't have to take your ticket... They get into the bus... Conductor (to kid): "how old are you?" Kid: "5-years-old!" Conductor asked innocently: "so, when you will be 6-years-old?" Kid: "after getting out of the bus!!"
Father said to son: "at your age I was not used to lie!" Son: "Ok, at what age you started lying!!"
A gentleman asked a 7-year-old girl: "you really have beautiful hair! from whom you got the hair, from mom or papa?" The girl replied: "I guess, I got from my papa as he is bald!!"
Father (to son): "look my child, gambling is not a good thing! if you win today,you will lose tomorrow and if you win day after tomorrow, you will lose the next day!" Son (to father): "yes, I got your point I should play it on alternate days!!"
Kid: "mother, magic happened last night!I opened the washroom's door and light turned on by itself!" Mother: "idiot,it seems,you again peed in the fridge!!"
Peter: "papa, do you fear the dark?" Father: "no son!" Peter: "thunder, lightning and blast?" Father: "of course not!" Peter: "It means you don't fear anything except mom!!"
Son: "dad' I don't want pencil, give me a pen!" Father: "but, your teacher always asks to write with a pencil!" Son: "you are right! but, whenever she beats me with pencil its tip breaks off!!
A small kid returns from school with his report card and says to his father... Kid: "you are so lucky!" Father: "how?" Kid: "as I got failed so you don't have to buy new books for me!!"
A kid asked another kid: "can you read Chinese?" The other kid replied: "yes, if it is written in English!"