Man Jokes

On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?" he asked.

"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing." gringringrin
A man was pretending to be very smart and saying....

Man: "Iron cuts iron!and,diamond cuts diamond!"
right then a dog comes from behind and bits him!!" gringringrin
Heaven king - Go out, Enjoy. Nothing will harm you.
Man did so, Met with an accident, died, In Heaven.
Man - Why did you told me lie.
Heaven king - Appraisal time, had to achieve target. gringringrin
A Man's Feeling :....

"It feels Like a Mini heart attack when we don't find our Mobile in my pocket...
and it's almost like Heart Fail when I see it in my Girlfriend's hand..! 
A man meets an accident with his new Ferrari.
Policemen arrives.
Man : (cried) Officer..! My brand new car..!
Police replied : You're such materialistic You even haven't notice that your left
arm has been cut off..
Man : (He looks at his left arm and yells)
OMG..! My Rolex watch.! gringringrin
A man was being interviewed for a post of a commando in Army..

Interviewer : We want a person with suspicious mind, always alert, merciless, ready to attack, 
acute sense of hearing, detective ability and most importantly having a killer instinct..!!
do you think you are eligible..??

Man : Sir.... Can my wife apply.. gringringrin
A man in Hell asked Devil :
Can I make a call to my Wife.?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, hell to hell is Free.. gringringrin
a man was watching a movie at home
and suddenly shouts nooooooooooooo..!!
Don't go inside the church it's a trap!!

Wife : what are you watching?

Man : our wedding DVD gringringrin
A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled :
"How would you feel if you don't see me for two days.?"
The man couldn't believe his luck : that would be great..!
Monday passed and he didn't see her..
Tuesday and wednesday passed too..
On thursday his swelling became better
and now he could see her from the corner of one eye.. gringringrin
Judge : Why did you shoot your wife
instead of shooting her lover.?

Man : Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week. gringringrin