Peter Simon Jokes

Simon : "I like you so much!"

Girl: "do you know my sandal size?"

Simon: "oh, look at this girl, started demanding before starting the friendship!!"  gringringrin
Peter was talking very quietly on the phone...

Wife: "to whom you are talking so quietly?"

Peter: "it is sister!"

Wife: "then why talking quietly?"

Peter: "its your sister,not mine!!" gringringrin
Peter's kid falls ill... 

Doctor: "boil properly before giving water to your kid!"

Peter shouts: "oye, shut up! my kid will die of boiling!!"  gringringrin
Peter goes to doctor with a worried face...

Peter: "doctor, I pee at 6 o'clock in the morning and then defecate at 7 o'clock!"

Doctor: "then what is the problem?"

Peter: "but, I wake up at 8 o'clock in the morning!!" gringringrin
Peter to a Lady
Peter : What is name of your car..?

Lady : I don't remember the name but it's start with "T"

Peter : Wow.. it's fantastic your car start with T(tea) and my car start with Petrol. gringringrin
Peter was sitting relaxed and calm...

Simon (to Peter): "do some work!"

Peter (to Simon): "I don't work in summers!"

Simon: "and, in winters?"

Peter: "I wait for summers!!"
Scientist: "we have found ice and water on moon!"

Peter (the assistant): "so now we need only whisky and salted peanuts!" gringringrin
Simon's boss came in one morning and caught Simon hugging his secretary. He said in a rage,
Is this what you get paid for?

Simon told him, Nope, I do this for free. gringringrin
Peter disconnected the door bell. Why..?
Because he wanted to win the No-bell prize.  gringringrin
Peter to his servant : Go and water the plants.
Servant : It is already raining.
Peter : So what, take an umbrella and go gringringrin