Simon : "I like you so much!" Girl: "do you know my sandal size?" Simon: "oh, look at this girl, started demanding before starting the friendship!!"
Peter was talking very quietly on the phone... Wife: "to whom you are talking so quietly?" Peter: "it is sister!" Wife: "then why talking quietly?" Peter: "its your sister,not mine!!"
Peter's kid falls ill... Doctor: "boil properly before giving water to your kid!" Peter shouts: "oye, shut up! my kid will die of boiling!!"
Peter goes to doctor with a worried face... Peter: "doctor, I pee at 6 o'clock in the morning and then defecate at 7 o'clock!" Doctor: "then what is the problem?" Peter: "but, I wake up at 8 o'clock in the morning!!"
Peter to a Lady . . Peter : What is name of your car..? Lady : I don't remember the name but it's start with "T" Peter : Wow.. it's fantastic your car start with T(tea) and my car start with Petrol.
Peter was sitting relaxed and calm... Simon (to Peter): "do some work!" Peter (to Simon): "I don't work in summers!" Simon: "and, in winters?" Peter: "I wait for summers!!"
Scientist: "we have found ice and water on moon!" Peter (the assistant): "so now we need only whisky and salted peanuts!"
Simon's boss came in one morning and caught Simon hugging his secretary. He said in a rage, Is this what you get paid for? Simon told him, Nope, I do this for free.
Peter disconnected the door bell. Why..? Because he wanted to win the No-bell prize.
Peter to his servant : Go and water the plants. Servant : It is already raining. Peter : So what, take an umbrella and go