Student to teacher," Are 'pants' singular or plural?" Teacher, "They're singular on top and plural on the bottom."
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers: We found a ten dollars and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie. Teacher : You should be ashamed of yourselves, When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was. The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
On returning from school Raju told his mother... "it seems, our teacher doesn't take bath!" Mother: "why you think so?" Raju: "she was saying that she never did anything that she can't do in front of all!"
Teacher (to students): "students, how can you identify a married woman?" Student: "vermilion in the middle of the head!" Teacher: "and, how you identify a married man?" Student: "from a worried face!!"
Teacher: "Tom, why were you absent yesterday?" Tom: "sir, yesterday, I went to America in my dream!" Teacher: "Okay, Peter, why were you absent?" Peter: "sir, I went to drop Tom at the airport!"
Teacher asked the students to write a 4 page essay on the topic "What is Laziness?" One of the students left the first three pages blank and wrote in bold letters on the fourth page.. "This is Laziness"!"
Teacher : If you have 10 chocolate cakes and someone asks for 2, how many do you have left..? Student : 10.. Teacher : Okay, well what if somebody forcibly takes two of the cakes, how many would you have left then..? Student : 10 and a dead body..
Teacher: How can we get some clean water? Student: Bring the water from the river and wash it.
Teacher asked the students: "how one can see stars in daytime?" One of the students replied: "by getting slapped!!"
Teacher: "well done Peter! you have scored the highest marks! keep it up!" Peter: "ok sir, you also keep printing the question papers in my brother's printing press!!"